Lord, have your way with me and my family...

Wow, it has been awhile. I did not realize that it has been over a month since my last blog. It's not that I haven't felt the urge to blog, I have. The problem is that I didn't have the energy and mindset to do so. My tag line for my blog if you haven't noticed is "raw insights on faith, family, and fun." Truth be told it normally is anything but raw. My posts are never spur of the moment and have often sat in my brain for a few days as I have mulled it over, it is only then that I sit down and type it all out. But not this one. Nope not this time. This one is raw and coming straight from the heart in one sitting (that is if Finley agrees and stays asleep so I can finish).

Life has been crazy for the Harris household over the past few months. We have prayerfully committed to planting a church in Placerville, California just outside of Sacramento with a family we grew to love and adore while in Seminary. We can't wait to get there - to love people, to see lives transformed, touch a community, to be a part of something new, and I can go on and on. But we are not there yet. I will be honest (raw that is) with you , it's hard waiting, it stinks and is no fun sometimes. I know what you might say or think, "Mark, you just need to pray about it." I have, many times.

Isn't that the token Christian answer? Don't get me wrong, it should be, we should pray, we are told to pray. In fact, it is the first thing we should do and we should do it continually - all the time. But what are we praying about? What are we praying for?

We will get back to this thought because I am going on a tangent and will hopefully bring it all back together....

I mentioned that my family's life is crazy right now. Sometimes life is like that isn't it? Sometimes life makes you go a bit crazy. Sometimes you get sick of the waiting, you get discouraged, you get lazy, you get grouchy and moody. You might even get depressed, downhearted, dejected, and down in the dumps. All of these feelings (and many more) are part of life. All of these feelings effect our prayer lives (and here is where I am going to bring it all back together).

Sometimes we don't feel like praying, we don't have the energy, the stamina, or the conviction to always be on our knees. Sometimes we get sick of praying the same thing over and over and over again. Sometimes we realize that it is not about me (insert your name), that there is a bigger picture that we are not privy to see. Sometimes we realize that our current circumstances are God's way of molding and transforming us. Sometimes we realize that we should stop our prayers centered on our circumstances and start our prayers centered on our hearts.

So, instead of saying - "Lord, bring the right buyer to buy my house. Lord, provide the right job for me to do your will as a Pastor. Lord, help us work out the details and logistics." I should say - "Lord, have your way with me and my family. Lord, shape me and mold me. Lord, use this time of uncertainty to make me certain in the one who loves me so much that He died for me. Lord, use this time to transform my heart to love like you love. Lord, more then anything in the world I want to grow in you, to be more like you so if that means I wait - I wait. If that means my house does not sell and move in my timing - then so be it because your ways are bigger and better then mine. You know what you are always doing and I rarely do. Lord, have your way with me and my family."

Let me repeat myself (dare I say quote myself). "Sometimes we realize that we should stop our prayers centered on our circumstances and start our prayers centered on our hearts." I have - have you?