When things don't go accroding to plan

I am a planner. I make a list and set goals and then proceed to check each item off one by one. I envision an outcome and work backwards to make it happen. This way I can assure (to the best of my ability) that all standards and objections are met and dealt with along the way. My planning manifests itself in all aspects of my life. I plan my semester of school out, I plan weekends out, I plan visits of friends and family out, I plan vacations and trips out, I plan work projects out, and I even plan birthdays out (especially my wife's).

This past Monday my wife celebrated her 31st birthday. I wanted to make it an extra special day for her for many reasons. I had it all planned out. I woke up early Monday morning so that Maya and I could bake cupcakes and then deliver them to her work along with a large bouquet of balloons. After we made the delivery I picked up her birthday cake and made a stop at the local meat market for dinner. I HAD PLANNED to pick up her birthday earlier the previous week but I didn't make it to the jeweler. As a result, I had to take Maya to pick up the necklace at the jeweler.

I decided to stress the point with Maya that mommy didn't know what was in the box (I wrapped it in a very large box to throw her off) and that we couldn't tell her what it was until she told us. Everything was going according to plan until Maya looked at Heather and said, "after we have cake and sing you happy birthday you can unwrap your box and see your necklace". My heart dropped, the surprise was ruined, the day was perfect until then. Or so I thought.

The main reason for all my planning was to create a memorable day for Heather. I wanted her to remember her 31st birthday and be happy because sad feelings marked her 30th birthday (we spent her birthday weekend next to my father as he was dying).

No matter how hard we plan and think we got it right there are always outside forces which are effecting what is going on. It may be a three year old in her innocence or our God in heaven who longs for us to find joy (and everything else He offers) as we pursue His heart and His ways.

The day ended more memorable then I had planned because a three year old spoke out of innocence and love.

May our lives be marked in the same way as we submit our plans and goals to God so that His heart and His ways are manifested and visible in all that we do.

An Explination

When I created this blog I had no idea what to title it. After days of thought and talking Heather turned to the books on our shelves for added insight. On a shelf sits a hymnal from San Francisco Theological Seminary dating back to 1931. It was given to Heather when her grandfather passed away. I guessed they thought we would put it to good use because we were on our way to Seminary. One page thirty is a song entitled, "Altar of my Heart." Read the words:


1 - Now from the altar of my heart let incense flames arise. Assist me, Lord, to offer up mine evening sacrifice. Amen.

2 - Awake, my love! Awake, my joy! Awake, my heart and tongue. Sleep not; when mercies loudly call, break for into a song

3 - This day God was my sun and shield, my keeper and my guide; his care was on my frailty shown, his mercies multiplied.

4 - Minutes and mercies multiplied have made up all this day; minutes came quick, but mercies were more fleet and free then they.

5 - New time, new favor, and new joys do a song require; till I shall praise thee as I would, accept my heart's desire.

6 - Lord of my time, who hand hath set new time upon my score, then shall I praise for all my time, when time shall be no more.


This hymn resonates with me in so many different ways right now. My hands would get tired and your eyes would become strained if I rambled on. But don't worry I will expound on this at a later date and time. In the mean time, what do you think?

Not so Random Thoughts on Life and Death

Like every other Thursday Heather picked up Maya from school to bring her home and as usual they talked about her day on the home. Maya told Heather about a conversation she had with one of her friends, Lilly. Lilly asked, "Maya, who is picking you up today? Is it you daddy, your mommy, or how about your papa?" Maya replied, "My papa is in heaven." After telling Heather about her conversation with Lilly she went on and informed Heather about her recent conversation with God. "God said that papa was going to come back." To which Heather gently replied, "no honey, I'm sorry papa is in heaven for good." Maya boldly informed Heather that, "no he's not he is with nan right now."

Did I forget to tell you that yesterday was my parents anniversary. The story makes more sense now doesn't it?

I called my mom to tell her of the conversation and she simply replied, "how does she know, how can she sense those things?"

It's amazing the comfort and joy that memories bring. You would think they would be enough, but there not. What's more amazing is the comfort and joy that we receive knowing that our loved ones are in the presence of our Lord and Savior. It is because of Christ's death and Resurrection that we can find comfort and joy in times of trouble. Positive memories will only last so long, eventually they fade away. What's the one thing that will never fade? God's love.


I believe it was the Tuesday in between my father's death and his memorial service that I was sitting in chapel at Seminary dreading the fact that I had to be there when I didn't want to be. A message was given that chapel by one of my professor's (Dr. Terveen) who suffered a traumatic loss of his daughter years ago. I came across a pod cast of the same message given a few weeks ago at a local church. The message is entitled God's Voice of Comfort and all you have to do is click on the podcast player to listen to it.



Listen to it!